I'm still a believer that the love letter is not dead, and the same goes for chivalry. Right? While the days of proper manners are far from over, men and women still "woo" each other in different ways.
If a man has ever tried to impress you with his artistic skills and economic status (by taking you out to dinner or a show), or maybe you've tried to impress him with singing, baked goods, or a pretty dress... either way, you've carried on a long tradition of wooing that was very common in the Victorian era!
Nowadays young couples meet at bookstores, bars, clubs, and even a large percentage online. It may seem difficult to muster up the courage to walk up to a person of interest and start talking, but back in the Victorian era, you wouldn't even be allowed to do so! If that's true, then how did couples date before marriage?
Images from The Art of Manliness and Boxing Posters
Courting in the Victorian Era (1837-1901)
A lady in this time period was ready to be courted usually about the age of 17-18 years old. She learned social skills from the women in her family, used their visiting cards, and had them chaperon any courting activities... since she was not allowed to be alone in mixed company. The chaperon would allow the young lady to dance if she was asked, but dancing more than three dances with the same man was improper. This was just one of many rules for young men and women at the time. Of course, this goes along with the fact that men were expected to be gentlemen, which meant holding the door open, standing when a lady enters the room, and removing his hat indoors or when speaking to a lady.
Flirtatious Fans
The rules of courting were so strict that Victorians had to invent ways of subtly flirting. Certain items were considered to send subtle messages of romance. These items included gloves, fans, handkerchiefs, flowers, letters, and cards. A fan was a way for women to communicate subtly, since they were part of her normal attire. There is an entire language that was used with fans, for instance if she were to open and close a fan several times quickly, it means "you are cruel" or "I am angry with you". If she places the half-opened fan on her lips, she is saying "you may kiss me".
Images from American Duchess and Victorian Graphics
Silk Fan Wedding Favors and Sandalwood Fan Wedding Favors
Call Me Later!
Today it may be typical to exchange phone numbers by entering them into a cell phone or jotting it down on a napkin. Victorians had calling cards. They exchanged them to call upon a lady or gentlemen. A call was a specific amount of time two people spent together usually as short as 15 minutes.
Images of victorian calling cards are from {here}. Check them out, these would even make great modern-day place card holders or favor tags! Plus, they are really fun to look at!
Does your man deserve the gentleman badge? Did your lady get you at "hello"? Send one of these high-achieving romance badges along with a love letter!
Copy and paste them, or print out! Then read how to write a love letter {here}
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